I Could Never Do That . . .

There are many things I thought I could never do. There are reasons that there is a saying, never say never. It only takes a situation that is unexpected, some kind of interpersonal turmoil, or who knows a full moon. These days I am a little more cautious with the word never and even judgment.

I hear, I could never give my baby up for adoption, I am too young, too old, too poor, too many things to list. So what are the options if you do not feel you could keep the baby and you do not want to adopt? It seems abortion (killing your unborn child)is a very extreme measure. These days the media has really watered down abortion and made it so clean, sterile, and acceptable. However, the Gosnell trial really opened the eyes of the world to the atrocities that women and the unborn go through.

Rather than talk about the bloody rusty equipment used to perform abortions and killing babies born alive then killed, let's discuss LIFE! Let's really discuss what it means to give life knowing that you will be giving a baby for someone else to raise and adopt.

Adoption is no longer this secret that no one knows about. It is celebrated and embraced. When the family adopts they even have a Gotcha Day! Twenty years ago maybe, there were not as many open adoptions. Most adoptions were closed. Closed adoptions are adoptions without any involvement with the birth parents. Open adoptions are adoptions that have as little or as much involvement as the birth family and adoptive family agree upon. These days you have agencies really advocating for families to know the birth mother and to have a relationship with the child and the family. This arrangement has been shown to really aid families in the emotional health and well-being of the child.

If both the adoptive family and birth family agree, the birth mother can become like an auntie. Some birth mothers may not want to be this involved. Perhaps just knowing the baby is safe, healthy, and loved is enough for the birth family. However, some couples trade photos monthly, some meet for vacations; some are friends on Facebook and a ton of other ways to have relationships. There are many ways to love your child and allow another to adopt your child. It is not a prison sentence, ruin your life event or shameful experience that many years ago people shipped young women away for.

Adoption is one of the most sacrificial and beautiful experiences. To know that instead of killing your baby, you chose to give life. Wow! So many mother's and father's right now are searching, praying, dealing with the thought they can never have a baby without adoption. They are hoping that YOU will choose them. They hope YOU will think they are good enough to love, raise, and care for your child. Can you imagine? You are very important!

Families have to go through a lot of work to even be able to adopt. They have to find an attorney, get background checks to make sure they are safe people, and have a biography written about them called a homestudy so that they can be reviewed by adoption agencies. They make the cutest photo albums of their family for you to look at. You even get to meet them. Financially, adoptions cost thousands of dollars. However, aside from the financial, probably the hardest thing any adoptive parent goes through is waiting. Waiting to be chosen by a birth family can be a lengthy process that couples can wait years and years for.

According to Prolifeacction.org, 1.2 million abortions are performed each year in the U.S. as of August 2011. What would happen if those children were born and allowed to be adopted?

Why do people adopt? So many families struggle to have a baby, perhaps there was an abortion that left the family unable to conceive. Some women or men may have fertility issues. Or, maybe they were able to have one child and unable to have more. Maybe they were a little older when they found the love of their life, and their ability to have a child is no longer an option. There are instances where there is no known reason why families are unable to have children. These families want with all their hearts to open their lives to a child. Some families even choose to adopt simply because they want to open their hearts and homes to another child.

There are many ways that open adoptions can bring so much more than life into this world. Children want to know why they look the way they do, where they come from, and why they like or do not like certain things. You are the key to their puzzle. They need you to love them enough to allow them to grow into your belly, kick around a bit, and be born. You can do it. I know it is not simple. The situations in your life that you face are anything but simple. However, the simple experiences rarely develop great women. Strong, courageous, and influential women rarely lived boring lives. They made choices that often resulted in a monumental defining moment.

I have watched, read, and talked to many women that have regretted their abortions. They regret that their baby will never be able to live. The regret they allowed other people to coerce or tell them what to do. They regret that they were so emotional they made an impulsive decision. They regret the child they will never see, hear laugh, or be born.

With adoptions, it appears these women feel more peace and experience fewer traumas over the long term. Imagine having had an abortion and hearing the stories that are coming out about abortion doctors/clinics and the lack of quality control. For some women, this is traumatizing. Knowing you chose to give birth and share that child with a family you selected sounds so much more healing. I am almost certain that many women, instead of saying, “I could never give my baby up for adoption” would have allowed themselves the option of adoption.

by Noel
Guest Blogger
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